Imploding

The newest offering of the Defective Amish Detective is available now! You can get Vol 6: The Sausage Log Implosion on Kindle here: http://amz.to/11MckpP

I have to say this whole experience has been a lot of fun. When Giovanni approached me about this series, I was a little hesitant. I have always known him to have an outrageous sense of humor and I knew the Amish were handled with a great deal of respect. I did not know how we would blend the two.

What came out of it was a story with lots of heart and its own kind of zaniness. I think we manage to show the proper amount of respect to the Amish. Much of the slapstick falls on the Defective Detective, who is not Amish. What is he? Something of a repentant hitman. Both of our main characters have mysterious pasts that give them unique skills to handle the cozy mysteries we throw at them.

In the end, this series is about friendship and understanding. It is about two men coming from two different worlds and overcoming their differences to work together for the greater good. It is a pleasure to write and I hope you have as much fun reading it!

About The Sausage Log Implosion: “Muck is Muck,” Eli the Blacksmith says.How does the Defective Detective go from having a near perfect day to one of the worst? Simple – someone stole his sausage log. Everyone has something in life that makes them happy. For G, it is the culinary delights of the Amish, including whoopie pies and sausage logs. When his favorite market is sold out, G wants to know why. The charming, but innocent, counter girl tells him that the butcher’s meat grinder has been stolen. When something goes awry in Amish Country, G can’t let it go. He joins his stalwart companion Eli and the two of them are on the case. They have two questions to answer. What happened to the meat grinder? And, how much muck is too much muck? This is one explosive implosion!

Listen to Me

Okay, maybe not me (that sounds needy), but I do have something for you to listen to.

I've been working on a new series called the Defective Amish Detective. It is a humorous, without making fun, look at the misadventures of an Amish blacksmith and his Non-Amish friend. The defective detective is admittedly a repentant man with a questionable past. He has reached an age where certain parts (eyes, ears) don't work as well as they did. Through travels with his wife into Amish Country, the detective has become friends with Eli, who also happens to have a shadow over his past. Together, they work to help those that cannot help themselves. Things don't always go as expected and both of their pasts may come back to haunt them. These stories are full of slapstick, but they also share a message and have heart.

Now, it is a special treat for me to share with you that my publisher, Helping Hands Press, has taken a big leap in putting Volume 1: The Whoopie Pie Affair on audiobook.

You can get more information on Amazon: http://amzn.to/13PgsSR

Another treat is the voice you will hear on the audiobook. It is none other than Big Daddy Abel. Also known as BDA, he is the frontman for a band called the Amish Outlaws and a talented author in his own right.

If you enjoy audiobooks, I do hope you will give mine a listen.

Thanks for reading and please visit me at www.FB.com/MarkMillerAuthor

Let's Talk about Intercourse

You know, the small town in Amish Country, Lancaster PA?

What did you think I meant?

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 2

The Intercourse Boondogle

The Defective Amish Detective is back. The Fixer with a heart of gold heads to Lancaster County for another case. His friend Eli, the Amish blacksmith with a mysterious past, spots trouble in the town of Intercourse. The name alone sends the Defective Detective on a rant. Outrageousness reigns as these two worlds collide again. Are you ready for a road trip to Amish Country?

It is a special treat to write with a friend. We have a blast putting this story out for you! It is a humorous look at the Amish, but we also make fun of our detective too. If you want something, funny, heart-warming and different, this is for you!

Available on Kindle:

http://goo.gl/GdRLW

Also on Nook, iTunes and Kobo

eBook Giveaway

Recently, I started a new series with my friend, Giovanni. It was a relatively new experience diving into the world of Amish fiction. I did not quite know what to expect, but we ended up with something totally unique and outrageous.

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

The story is something of a cozy mystery, but also a self-deprecating comedy. We hold the Amish in high regard and treat their portrayal with kindness. But when it comes to the Defective Detective, it's no holds barred. The main character has poor eyesight, poor hearing and dresses like he raided Don Ho's wardrobe in 1983.

We are presently at work on Volume 2 - The Intercourse Boondoggle. Now before you ask if we are crossing any taboos, please know that Intercourse is the name of a town in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania; the heart of Amish country.

To celebrate the upcoming release, we are doing two things. First, there will be a live interview on the G-Zone BlogTalkRadio show. Special guest host Murray Pura (best-selling author of historical & Amish fiction) has been preparing some hard-hitting questions. To hear the show live on Saturday, Nov 17th at Noon Eastern (or to listen to the archive afterward), save this link:

http://goo.gl/w7OTW

The second big event is the giveaway that is happening for the next 20 days, ending on December 1st. You can use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter for your chance to win one or both of the first two volumes of The Defective Amish Detective.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Me and the G-Man

I have known Giovanni Gelati for quite some time. He's interviewed me more than once on The G-Zone BlogTalkRadio Show. We've written together (A Prince in Trenton, Seriously?). Our latest collaboration is The Defective Amish Detective - Volume 1 - The Whoopie Pie Affair. It is a humorous story, that one might call a cozy mystery. Both of us had the goal of telling a fun story, while holding the Amish with utmost respect. With the "defects" of our main character, it ended up being a story with a lot of heart.

Now for the first time, it is my turn to interview Giovanni. Some of the questions pertain to the story, so if you haven't read it, you can get it here: http://goo.gl/UuI5v

If you haven't, don't worry, there's no spoilers.

MM: How many Hawaiian shirts do you own?

GG: I have yet to buy one, I get them as gifts. As a for instance, we were cleaning up prior to the arrival of Hurricane Sandy, I found 6 bags of unopened socks. In layman terms that is 60 pairs of unused socks. One may take pause now and consider that. Basically I reach in the closet, grab one and put it on. I am not sure if I have 60 of them, but I have more than I think.

MM: You have an affinity for the Amish, do you think you may join them sometime in the future? 

GG: I will reference Hurricane Sandy again. We didn’t get the devastating flooding, but we got the wind and rain, our town lost power. We were dark from Monday night to Saturday. I am not going out on a limb here when I say that I enjoy electricity. Ice cream does not taste good without it. I marveled at drinking a cold beverage again, and having the use of light when I went to use the bathroom. It is hard to read in the dark. So for now, me being Amish is not in the cards. Besides that when ones Hawaiian shirt is the brightest thing in the room, it kind of stinks.

MM: What is your favorite flavor of whoopie pie? 

GG: They have me hooked on the chocolate chip outer cookie with the chocolate cream filling. Throw in a sausage log and some deep fried or rotisserie chicken and I am set.

MM: What is your best experience with a farm animal? 

GG: None really, they smell and leave large deposits behind. I am not into the smell, feel or look of muck. I would much prefer a muckless Farm, but I doubt that is in the cards. I much more enjoy them from a distance in the SUV going the speed limit pointing them out to the kids. It is much safer that way all around.

MM: What is in store for the Defective Amish Detective in the upcoming volumes? 

GG: Volume two will be out the week of November 14th , the title is “The Intercourse Boondogle”, and it will involve grifters. Intercourse is a quaint little town in Lancaster with plenty of neat shops. The other 8 stories in the series will involve a series of mysteries that G and Eli try to solve together in various locations in and around Lancaster. 

Giovanni and I will be at the mercy of best-selling Canadian Amish author Murray Pura as he interviews both of us live on November 17th at Noon Eastern - http://www.facebook.com/events/376125555805108/

Also, to stay up-to-date, please visit and like my Author Page - http://www.facebook.com/MarkMillerAuthor

New and Different

So Giovanni had this idea and he issued a challenge to me. The result:

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

I entered a new world with this one. The G-Man is known for his zany ideas, so together we developed a story which is unlike any other I have done. It is both hilarious and heartfelt. Giovanni's bold personality shines through, making it hard to believe he is not a fictional character. The story is crafted in such a way as to blur the line between fiction and reality. 

The events are outrageous, but the characters are honest and direct. I enjoyed building the relationship between Gio and Eli. Their connection is such that they were practically life-long friends from the moment they accidentally met.

My writing has always been Christian influenced, but this is my first big step into Amish fiction. Aside from one other WIP on the subject, I am learning a lot about the Amish. It is important to me (and Giovanni) to treat the people and their beliefs with great respect, while still having fun. I think we managed that.

The story is simple, a cozy mystery with an unlikely culprit. We may go a little more complex in future stories, but the goal is to have fun.

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

ONLY 99 Cents

For a LIMITED time!

Get it here: http://goo.gl/UuI5v

Trouble in the Bubbles

In an informal survey of third graders, Trouble in the Bubbles is noted as the most liked and requested of all of my stories. It is quite popular with those "in the know".

Small World

Global Protection Agency

Issue # 002-B

Trouble in the Bubbles

Star athlete Josh and computer prodigy Madison are recruited by the mysterious Mr. Crux to attend a special summer camp. The two elementary school kids then begin the adventure of a lifetime. They discover that the Small World Global Protection Agency is a network of talented and skilled children in countries all over the world. Their mission is to help other kids and save the day when adults can’t.

In Case File: 002-B, Trouble in the Bubbles, Josh, Madison, Devante and Drina search the historic castle. There they find proof of La Pantera’s hidden treasure. It is up to them to stop La Pantera and her mysterious boss. An undersea cave is the setting for this exciting conclusion.

This new series is aimed at Young Readers anywhere from 3rd to 6th grade and will be available only in eBook from Trestle Press. The monthly short stories will be reminiscent of the adventure serials of the 1940’s with a contemporary setting. Each episode will feature two ten-year-olds, Josh and Madison, as they secretly work for the high-tech, international Small World Global Protection Agency to keep the world safe. The short stories will come in a two-part “cliffhanger” style and expose readers to interesting facts and details of the countries Josh and Madison visit. At the end of each two-part story, there will also be Points to Ponder: five questions or discussion starters to keep parents involved with their young readers!

Miller is the author of The Empyrical Tales fantasy adventure series. Book I: The Fourth Queen and Book II: The Lost Queen are available now from Comfort Publishing and Book III: The Secret Queen is coming Spring 2012. From Trestle Press, Miller heads the spiritual anthology Mark Miller’s One. Miller has also written the adaptation of the faith-based movie Daniel’s Lot, available from Trestle Press, as well. 

He is a husband and father of four. Miller has a background in elementary education and currently works as a substitute teacher. He also has a Bachelor’s Degree in Film, which lends to his visual writing style.

The style of the Small World stories has been compared to Magic Treehouse. The series has received other critical praise:

“It's about time someone wrote a story for children in grades 3-5 about geography. Seeing a country on the globe tell kids nothing about the country, but Mark Miller mixes in culture and 

"takes" the kids to diffferent countries in this continuing series, just the right length too. As a former teacher and homeschool mom, I highly recommend this new series.” – Amazon.com Review

“I find it appealing (as a teacher) that the author has also managed to make the story educational, as well as creating situations and issues that young people will know all about. Madison and Josh have talents, worries and problems like us all, but manage to keep on track with a positive outlook.” – Amazon.com Review

“It's a nice touch that we have both a male and a female co-protagonist, to appeal to kid readers of both genders. And the discussion questions at the end are a plus, IMO. In short, I'd say this promises to be a series that could be quite popular with kids in this age bracket!” – Goodreads.com Review

Please visit www.MillerWords.com for more, or follow the series on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SWGPA

Regarding Gelati

No, it's not a delicious frozen treat for when you settle in with a good book.

I'm talking about Giovanni Gelati. Maybe you've heard of him? Trestle Press front man, anchor of the Author's Lab collaboration series, social media and internet marketing whiz. I wrote "A Prince in Trenton, Seriously?" with the guy. Yeah, that's him.

He has also started a series on his own about...............Bocce?

It actually sounds fun and could easily be played in the backyard, the community park, the beach, or most anywhere.

Gelati (the man, not the ice cream) has taken Bocce to the next level. He has created larger than life characters and thrust them into outrageous situations. In "I Have Chrome Balls, Don't You?", he introduces us to two members his team: Giovanni "The G-Man" Gelati and Dan "Big Balls" Cannoli (he gets his name due to the maximum size of his regulation Bocce equipment). The two friends are pitted in a duel against each other to determine the greatest Bocce player in the world.

In "Holy Chrome Bocce Balls on Fire", things go global. Giovanni and Dan are whisked away to an international tournament in Djibouti of all places. There, they face off against the Chinese and Russian teams. Things quickly escalate into an outlandish competition, and of course, flaming Bocce balls.

I love that the outcome of these stories is a foregone conclusion. The G-Man is always the unquestionable winner. Like all good stories, you know the "good guy" is going to win, but you relish seeing how it goes down. The humor is sharp and the puns are thick.

I look forward to the next adventure, which will be part of Trestle's Harbinger of Horror Halloween Month: "Holy Chrome Bocce Ball Beach Bloodbath - A Zombedy"

Oh yes, if you buy either of these (or any of my Trestle Press stories), Trestle is currently offering a Buy One Get One deal. Be sure to email me your proof of purchase (Mark@MillerWords.com) and I will get you a FREE story!

Showcase #1

Recently, I was invited to join the group Writers of the South (USA). It is a small, but enthusiastic group of authors in every type of genre. The group is aimed at supporting and promoting authors in Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi and Tennessee.

As we grow, we plan to take several opportunities to showcase the varied and talented people in the group. We will hit it hard over the next couple of days, hopefully gaining some new exposure and introducing you to writings you might not have found otherwise. Looking at the group, there is something for everyone, so be sure to check these posts every day.  The plan is to do this again in a few months.

Today, the spotlight shines on John Rose.

John says, "I teach art to 7th and 8th grade students for a day job. My ongoing project is THE MONSTERGRRLS, which takes up most of my other time. I like drawing, writing and making stuff in my Monster Shop, and have my own Atomic Brain named Alfred. I like people, but cannot always eat a whole one all at once."

The MonsterGrrls Book 1: Out From the Shadows - The first book in the MonsterGrrls series! When the new girls at Clearwater High turn out to be MONSTERS, something strange is bound to happen! But Emily and Theo, two lonely social outcasts at Clearwater, soon make friends with Frankie, Bethany, Punkin and Harriet--the MonsterGrrls. When the Grrls are challenged by the spoiled Jessica Hardin-St. James and her Clique to spend a night in a supposedly haunted house, they accept... but something is already there, waiting. And it doesn't like monsterkind...

If you are a fan of the Universal Monsters, or teenage angst, this could be the book for you. It looks fun and imaginative.

Please click on the links above and check it out.