Yet Here's a Spot

Shakespeare is turning over in his grave when I put the Defective Amish Detective in the same post as MacBeth!

See Lady MacBeth had a little problem with a stain and so does our fearless detective. What happens in Volume 7: The Hung Laundry Has a Stain is far less sinister than the old Bard's play.

Rolling out these snazzy new covers is the icing on the cake!

The hung laundry has a stain and, of course, there is only one man to get it clean.

The Defective Amish Detective heads back to Lancaster County to solve a mystery that feels more like a set up for someone else's entertainment. He decides this one calls for a disguise. Under cover, complete with matching sandals over his socks, G meets up with the Amish blacksmith. Together, there is nothing that can stop them, so discovering the cause of the unusual stains and finding the culprit take no time.

The only real question is how and when will G end up in the muck?

Find out here: 

http://amzn.to/17Bxpae

Imploding

The newest offering of the Defective Amish Detective is available now! You can get Vol 6: The Sausage Log Implosion on Kindle here: http://amz.to/11MckpP

I have to say this whole experience has been a lot of fun. When Giovanni approached me about this series, I was a little hesitant. I have always known him to have an outrageous sense of humor and I knew the Amish were handled with a great deal of respect. I did not know how we would blend the two.

What came out of it was a story with lots of heart and its own kind of zaniness. I think we manage to show the proper amount of respect to the Amish. Much of the slapstick falls on the Defective Detective, who is not Amish. What is he? Something of a repentant hitman. Both of our main characters have mysterious pasts that give them unique skills to handle the cozy mysteries we throw at them.

In the end, this series is about friendship and understanding. It is about two men coming from two different worlds and overcoming their differences to work together for the greater good. It is a pleasure to write and I hope you have as much fun reading it!

About The Sausage Log Implosion: “Muck is Muck,” Eli the Blacksmith says.How does the Defective Detective go from having a near perfect day to one of the worst? Simple – someone stole his sausage log. Everyone has something in life that makes them happy. For G, it is the culinary delights of the Amish, including whoopie pies and sausage logs. When his favorite market is sold out, G wants to know why. The charming, but innocent, counter girl tells him that the butcher’s meat grinder has been stolen. When something goes awry in Amish Country, G can’t let it go. He joins his stalwart companion Eli and the two of them are on the case. They have two questions to answer. What happened to the meat grinder? And, how much muck is too much muck? This is one explosive implosion!

Listen to Me

Okay, maybe not me (that sounds needy), but I do have something for you to listen to.

I've been working on a new series called the Defective Amish Detective. It is a humorous, without making fun, look at the misadventures of an Amish blacksmith and his Non-Amish friend. The defective detective is admittedly a repentant man with a questionable past. He has reached an age where certain parts (eyes, ears) don't work as well as they did. Through travels with his wife into Amish Country, the detective has become friends with Eli, who also happens to have a shadow over his past. Together, they work to help those that cannot help themselves. Things don't always go as expected and both of their pasts may come back to haunt them. These stories are full of slapstick, but they also share a message and have heart.

Now, it is a special treat for me to share with you that my publisher, Helping Hands Press, has taken a big leap in putting Volume 1: The Whoopie Pie Affair on audiobook.

You can get more information on Amazon: http://amzn.to/13PgsSR

Another treat is the voice you will hear on the audiobook. It is none other than Big Daddy Abel. Also known as BDA, he is the frontman for a band called the Amish Outlaws and a talented author in his own right.

If you enjoy audiobooks, I do hope you will give mine a listen.

Thanks for reading and please visit me at www.FB.com/MarkMillerAuthor

Running Late

Well, my blog has been a little quiet so far this year.

Lots of things going on behind the scenes. Exciting things coming up for 2013!

Authors in the Park is growing fast. We are planning an event for March 30th. If you have not already, please give our page a "like" to stay informed.

www.FB.com/AuthorsInThePark

Besides event planning and booking my calendar for the whole year, I got to spend a week visiting classes at a local elementary school. We celebrated National Literacy Week by reading from some great books (including mine) and talking about how a young avid reader became an author (me).

Oh, and I've done some writing too.

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 3

Ho! Ho! Ho! in the Snow

(an After Christmas Special)

I am having fun with this series and I think it is starting to take on a life of its own. Maybe I'm not an Amish author, but I am learning fast. My approach to this is taking the POV of the G-Man, a non-Amish, who befriends and Amish blacksmith. It is an outside look at the Amish and their special way of life. I like that the reader can travel along with the main character as he walks the line between a worldly path and a spiritual path.

T’was the night before…wait, that’s not right. But you know Dash…no, you probably don’t know him.
Put it this way, a repentant fixer, an Amish blacksmith with a mysterious past and a Christmas party. That is a recipe for fun on any holiday!

G and Eli have become good friends. Through circumstances beyond their control, Eli comes to the city to celebrate Christmas with G’s family. Their story would not be complete without the right amount of chaos. Throw in a homeless man at the door, a bunch of hot food on wheels and Doctor Mike.

This will be one Christmas you won’t forget. It is ultimately a story of humor and second chances.

When you get into the story, you will see there is much talk of Italian food. My family (not Italian) celebrated the release of this story with a great homemade meal. There is a little bit of everything on that plate, but I'm not giving away the secret ingredient to my sauce!

Visit me on Facebook

www.FB.com/MarkMillerAuthor

And you can get the bundle of frost-bitten fun known as the Defective Amish Detective on Amazon for ONLY 99 Cents:

http://goo.gl/VAK5a

It is also on BN Nook, Apple iTunes and Kobo.

Let's Talk about Intercourse

You know, the small town in Amish Country, Lancaster PA?

What did you think I meant?

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 2

The Intercourse Boondogle

The Defective Amish Detective is back. The Fixer with a heart of gold heads to Lancaster County for another case. His friend Eli, the Amish blacksmith with a mysterious past, spots trouble in the town of Intercourse. The name alone sends the Defective Detective on a rant. Outrageousness reigns as these two worlds collide again. Are you ready for a road trip to Amish Country?

It is a special treat to write with a friend. We have a blast putting this story out for you! It is a humorous look at the Amish, but we also make fun of our detective too. If you want something, funny, heart-warming and different, this is for you!

Available on Kindle:

http://goo.gl/GdRLW

Also on Nook, iTunes and Kobo

eBook Giveaway

Recently, I started a new series with my friend, Giovanni. It was a relatively new experience diving into the world of Amish fiction. I did not quite know what to expect, but we ended up with something totally unique and outrageous.

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

The story is something of a cozy mystery, but also a self-deprecating comedy. We hold the Amish in high regard and treat their portrayal with kindness. But when it comes to the Defective Detective, it's no holds barred. The main character has poor eyesight, poor hearing and dresses like he raided Don Ho's wardrobe in 1983.

We are presently at work on Volume 2 - The Intercourse Boondoggle. Now before you ask if we are crossing any taboos, please know that Intercourse is the name of a town in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania; the heart of Amish country.

To celebrate the upcoming release, we are doing two things. First, there will be a live interview on the G-Zone BlogTalkRadio show. Special guest host Murray Pura (best-selling author of historical & Amish fiction) has been preparing some hard-hitting questions. To hear the show live on Saturday, Nov 17th at Noon Eastern (or to listen to the archive afterward), save this link:

http://goo.gl/w7OTW

The second big event is the giveaway that is happening for the next 20 days, ending on December 1st. You can use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter for your chance to win one or both of the first two volumes of The Defective Amish Detective.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Me and the G-Man

I have known Giovanni Gelati for quite some time. He's interviewed me more than once on The G-Zone BlogTalkRadio Show. We've written together (A Prince in Trenton, Seriously?). Our latest collaboration is The Defective Amish Detective - Volume 1 - The Whoopie Pie Affair. It is a humorous story, that one might call a cozy mystery. Both of us had the goal of telling a fun story, while holding the Amish with utmost respect. With the "defects" of our main character, it ended up being a story with a lot of heart.

Now for the first time, it is my turn to interview Giovanni. Some of the questions pertain to the story, so if you haven't read it, you can get it here: http://goo.gl/UuI5v

If you haven't, don't worry, there's no spoilers.

MM: How many Hawaiian shirts do you own?

GG: I have yet to buy one, I get them as gifts. As a for instance, we were cleaning up prior to the arrival of Hurricane Sandy, I found 6 bags of unopened socks. In layman terms that is 60 pairs of unused socks. One may take pause now and consider that. Basically I reach in the closet, grab one and put it on. I am not sure if I have 60 of them, but I have more than I think.

MM: You have an affinity for the Amish, do you think you may join them sometime in the future? 

GG: I will reference Hurricane Sandy again. We didn’t get the devastating flooding, but we got the wind and rain, our town lost power. We were dark from Monday night to Saturday. I am not going out on a limb here when I say that I enjoy electricity. Ice cream does not taste good without it. I marveled at drinking a cold beverage again, and having the use of light when I went to use the bathroom. It is hard to read in the dark. So for now, me being Amish is not in the cards. Besides that when ones Hawaiian shirt is the brightest thing in the room, it kind of stinks.

MM: What is your favorite flavor of whoopie pie? 

GG: They have me hooked on the chocolate chip outer cookie with the chocolate cream filling. Throw in a sausage log and some deep fried or rotisserie chicken and I am set.

MM: What is your best experience with a farm animal? 

GG: None really, they smell and leave large deposits behind. I am not into the smell, feel or look of muck. I would much prefer a muckless Farm, but I doubt that is in the cards. I much more enjoy them from a distance in the SUV going the speed limit pointing them out to the kids. It is much safer that way all around.

MM: What is in store for the Defective Amish Detective in the upcoming volumes? 

GG: Volume two will be out the week of November 14th , the title is “The Intercourse Boondogle”, and it will involve grifters. Intercourse is a quaint little town in Lancaster with plenty of neat shops. The other 8 stories in the series will involve a series of mysteries that G and Eli try to solve together in various locations in and around Lancaster. 

Giovanni and I will be at the mercy of best-selling Canadian Amish author Murray Pura as he interviews both of us live on November 17th at Noon Eastern - http://www.facebook.com/events/376125555805108/

Also, to stay up-to-date, please visit and like my Author Page - http://www.facebook.com/MarkMillerAuthor

New and Different

So Giovanni had this idea and he issued a challenge to me. The result:

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

I entered a new world with this one. The G-Man is known for his zany ideas, so together we developed a story which is unlike any other I have done. It is both hilarious and heartfelt. Giovanni's bold personality shines through, making it hard to believe he is not a fictional character. The story is crafted in such a way as to blur the line between fiction and reality. 

The events are outrageous, but the characters are honest and direct. I enjoyed building the relationship between Gio and Eli. Their connection is such that they were practically life-long friends from the moment they accidentally met.

My writing has always been Christian influenced, but this is my first big step into Amish fiction. Aside from one other WIP on the subject, I am learning a lot about the Amish. It is important to me (and Giovanni) to treat the people and their beliefs with great respect, while still having fun. I think we managed that.

The story is simple, a cozy mystery with an unlikely culprit. We may go a little more complex in future stories, but the goal is to have fun.

The Defective Amish Detective

Volume 1

The Whoopie Pie Affair

ONLY 99 Cents

For a LIMITED time!

Get it here: http://goo.gl/UuI5v